The reindeer booties arrived

Axel is 11 weeks and 2 days, that is not even 3 months. The booties are size 0-6months.They are too small...

Anyone would like a pair of dwarf booties for Christmas, anyone?? Otherwise he will have to wear them as mittens (vantar) ha ha ho ho ho

Oh and my back really flipping hurts today, carrying around an almost 7kg (by now) baby is not good for anyone's back and we were so tight (snåla) when we had him so we didn't invest in a proper changing table so now I have to break my back a little bit more every time I change his nappy (on the floor), I asked him firmly not to wee too much today..

Think I better go back searching for an elf costume instead, I was so much happier then...

elf costume compensation...

Just bought these ones on (I know I must stay away from that vicious site) ebay to compensate for the elf costume fiasco, now at least he won't have to lie around with cold feet come Christmas, all in all £1.75 in total...

The hunt of the perfect elf costume!

Gosh the weeks are going so quickly at the moment, Axel is 11 weeks and 1 day today, surreal.

We met up with Val yesterday and went to a massive Tesco in search of an elf outfit.. unfortunately (of course!!!) they were sold out, there was only 2 left in size "newborn"! I was really close buying it and do a squeeze, what does a couple of centimeters do (that is my own motto when I try on jeans) ha ha? No, I think that could be classified as child abuse as it said up to 56cm and Axel is more 62-63cm I think and slightly bigger than a "newborn" with his 6kg... so the hunt continues : )

Nisse = Santa’s little all year helper

J came in to the bedroom this morning and announced that not only did our amazing new TV give us hours of enjoyment in the evenings, it also turned itself off from the Standby mode to the Power saving mode! That sounded too good to be true, even more so when the electricity prices has gone up with 40% or something stupid like that. Unfortunately I had to demolish his illusion, there is no hokus pokus fanciness, even tho our TV can do no wrong.. It’s me, I’m like a little Nisse making sure that all electrical equipment are turned off for the night as I have seen all those “big brother” ads from the government about electricity savings, and being from a country where we do as we are told!! I take this very serious. Sometimes I even go up and double check – although that is probably more OCD! Did you know that the Swedes recycle everything possible and have THREE small bins instead of this black binbag malaki, there, you learn something new every day!

A slightly bored Axel beside me in the sofa

J told me yesterday that he had read some of the posts that I have written and asked me if I had lost my writing brain somewhere on the way? (well maybe not exactly like that, but that was what he wanted to ask!) I had to go in (of course) and re-read some of my posts.. and yes he is right, some of the posts are quite messy, but to my defence – I write this blog while I entertain Axel, while I watch TV, while I’m on the phone, while I’m hanging the washing and while on the loo.. no actually, that’s not true, our laptop do not have the moving around function that is pretty much key for a laptop – the whole none stationary option. The battery is dead so must always sit close to a power socket, so no bathroom blogging for me, so now you know and we can put the laptop bitterness behind us : )

Yesterday when I was putting Axel to sleep I noticed that J had wrapped up Axmax’s bed clothes and pillow around a hot water bottle to make it warm and nice for the little one, I almost started crying of happiness, I feel so lucky that I met J and that he is the father of my child, that’s love…

Tuesday fun!

Just got back after an eventful day, met my friend George at the college (where I used to work) for lunch and a good chat, Axel was really liking it, sitting in my lap looking out over the canteen. The just sitting looking calm is new for him, he is really growing now as a little person, he smiles at you and even smiles at him self in the mirror bless him, so cute! After lunch I went to cafe Moksha where I met the girls quickly and then Ruth came and we had tea and muffins, so nice meeting up with her and hear all about her labour and admire her baby Oliver who had the most adorable knitted hat on, maybe I should try and knit one to Axmax, I do have some knitting sticks (not sure what they are called) so just have to buy some wool and off we go : ) Although I'm not sure as I'm busy watching telly in the evenings the new way without any props.. ha ha ha

We are off to Katie's tomorrow I think and then I'll go to the Swedish shop and buy Gingerbread biscuits as I'm planning on making a Gingerbread cheesecake for Sunday celebrating J's birthday. Found the recipe in a magazine and it looks so nice on the picture! I will take a picture and show you guys if I succeed with the task of baking, sounds a bit hard to do but it should be ok :)

Obsessed with my TV, me.. NEVER!

I always used to write emails, browse the internet, read blogs etc while I watched TV in the evenings.. My life has changed and I'm not sure I like it, ha ha. Our lovely new TV is sucking me in, watched Sex and the City the movie tonight on it, oh boy it was nice! Even J liked it and I think it was more the TV than the movie : ) I must keep that TV off daytime as I noticed today that Axel seems to have taken a liking to it as well, not good, babies with square eyes... child abuse lol. To my defence, it was raining today and quite cold for UK and it was Sunday and J was working bless him. So weird that I had such a Sunday feeling today as I'm off all week all the time and J was at work which he normally never is on a Sunday. The weather got a bit better in the afternoon so we decided to go and meet J outside his work and walk home, being a chicken mum as I am, I decided that Ax needed to have both his snowsuit (overall) AND his foot muff. Nice nice... Here are some photos from Friday showing his new foot muff.

Had a great day yesterday with J's mum and her partner, went shopping and had lunch, J stayed at home and rested as he still feels a bit poorly. Then Birte, Tom and Bo came in the evening for some X-factor.. Amazing on the new TV : ) and good that Rachel left!

No Friday feeling today..

The sun seems to have disappeared and we are just gonna be at home today waiting for the telly to arrive. Axel did not sleep so well last night, his hands are waking him, but I'm not sure if we should stop swaddle him and be up all night putting his dummy back that he manage to pull out with his crazy arms even tho he seems to change his mind the minute it happens ha ha (got a feeling he don't do this on purpose as he don't seem to have any control of his arms yet) Can small babies learn to sleep more peacefully with their arms if they can practice arm control in the night as well???

Update: Just got our telly and stand and the sun is starting to shine a little bit as well so gonna have a shower now and see if we can go out today!!

Anyone else got that Friday feeling even tho it's only Thursday?

Just got back from a lovely walk in the sun and then cheesecake and tea at on of our favourite places. Life could not be better! Axel is playing in his gym and I'm about to do some kitchen work and then get ready for my full body massage tonight, can't wait! I realised when looking through the November pics that most of the pictures are of Axel (naturally) but only of Axel, gonna try and take some more of Axel and mamma and Axel and daddy etc. That way I will make an effort to get dressed and put some makeup on, today I'm wearing my black tracksuit trousers that I seem to live in these days! Before Axel I only used to wear them inside the house, but nowadays I'm seen wearing them out and about...this must stop : )


Here's a photo (the only one in November...) of all 3 of us taken last Saturday at Woodies Hamburger Diner with Birte, Thomas and Bo.

Jo had her baby girl!

Welcome to the world baby ISABELLE we can't wait to meet u!

Our own little sunshine!

It's fantastic to wake up and see such a happy boy, even more happy when I turned his mobile on above his cot, he got it from his grandma and absolutely adores it, tack Mamma! Some evenings I even have to take it away so he can chill out and fall asleep "laban (the Swedish childens book figure that's on the mobile) and his friends are going to bed over here my lovely outside your eyesight" ha ha.. It helps by saying that, then I don't feel so evil taking away his fun : )

The sun is shining today as well so we are heading out for a walk in a while with Amelia and Syd, very nice. I have put his foot muff inside the cocoon in his pram so now it looks super cosy and nice and warm.

Tomorrow we are guarding that door as we are hoping that the Telly will arrive just in time for the weekend... wooohooo

Chilled out arvo

Axmax have been sleeping for most of today, not sure if I should try and keep him awake a bit, I think he needs it, and I don't mind if he wants to be up a bit later tonight I think he will sleep like a log tonight anyway. I guess he needs sleep to shake his flu off properly, but he is so much better today, just one of his eyes that's a bit irritated. It's so lovely that he is smiling now and "talking", the time goes so quickly it's surreal but lovely, one way I'm thinking that I don't want him to be older (just want to keep him little and cuddly) but then he does something new like reach for his toys in the baby gym and I get so happy and can't wait for the next development, each day something new and exciting happens!

Oh, something fun happened last night. I think other mothers will recognise this, well at least the first bit of the story - I think I wake up in the night listening to Axel's breathing in a slight unconsciousness, I notice this as sometimes I wake up fully cos he is so quite and I have to check that he is ok. Last night I did just that, even more now when he sounds so poorly coughing in the night, anyway, without thinking I looked at J and thought "shit he is not breathing cos I can't hear him". I shook him a bit and he wakes up of course worried asking what's wrong.. that's when I realise that people ARE usually quiet when they sleep.. THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL ha ha ha. I'm going crazy : ) I apologised and laugh a bit by myself, and then I had to check if Axel was ok.... again!!!

My two favourite boys on a sunny Sunday in October -

My neighbourhood

Just got back after a lovely walk with Birte and Bo in the autumn sunshine, it's days like these when I get reminded why I have chosen to live in Britain, truly wonderful, must be at least 17 degrees in the sun with fresh sea air and very little wind!

Wednesday

Good morning, after a night battling with Axel about not lying awake sucking his hand and managing to feed him twice!! we manage to sleep to 8.30 which was lovely. We have gone back to swaddling as he wakes himself up with his hands and then he cannot stop sucking them which of course keeps him awake and us for that matter as he's accompanying the sucking with a grumbling sound, is it bad to still wrap (swaddle) him up? When we swaddle him he goes back to sleep straight away, but on the other hand he has to learn to sleep without us constraining him : ) Any ideas?? Also, he manage to poke himself in the eye so now he's eye is a bit irritated and sleep keep coming do I washed it with lukewarm boiled water. This happens quite often but it's usually his left eye but today it's his right poor thing, although I don't think he even notice it.

The sun is shining today so we will go out walking a bit with Birte who lives just around the corner. It's brilliant to have friends that lives close by, when I lived in London I always missed the ability to just "pop over" for a cuppa, so much more relaxed and it's hard to plan with this little one so much more handy, anyway, Axel is asleep now so must jump in the shower and get ready : )

Kalles Kaviar and my family

When I first moved to England in 1999 I missed lots of things from Sweden - my family and friends, Swedish food and of course the Swedish bureaucracy with its efficiency. Over the years I miss Sweden a little bit less and in a way a lot more. I do not pack my suitcase full of Swedish food every time I go back to England, I do not crave filmjölk (soured milk) or blodkorv (black puddingish) anymore, I have got used to the English bureaucracy with it's Victorian banks and instruction books to fill out "simple" forms or applications. BUT, the agonising longing for my family and friends have not been cured, during the years it has grown stronger and more heartbreaking, maybe because I know that the longer I live here the harder it will be to "move home". I have lived in many countries and moved more times than I can remember still the move home is almost too hard to grasp. Hopefully we will be brave enough to take that step one day... In the mean time it's great to have such lovely friends here : )

Ohh and I do have one Swedish craving left - thank you Kirsty for buying tubes of Kalles Kaviar!

Thank you Birte..

..for being the first one to "comment" on my blog, so exciting, see ya tomorrow : )

Lovely day out and about..

The sun started shining after I blogged about greyness and rain. I decided to head out and see what the day had to offer. I started by calling my very overdue friend Jo, we really want her baby girl to come now!!! She was suppose to "arrive" last Wednesday and I think Jo is beginning to believe that there isn't a baby at all inside her, but she will be here soon, super exciting : ) Even tho I had not planned to do anything on my "to do" list I manage to complete quite a few bits and pieces. I bought some breastfeeding bags (so I can freeze the milk for my massage evenings) and a dish brush for the bottles and teats at Boots, I love that shop.. for you Swedes - it's like Apoteket and H&M cosmetic and Maxi in one shop, huge and cheap with a lot of offers, a must when visiting UK. Then I bought a rain jacket on sale, one of them small ones that is like a little pouch bag and then you can fold it all open and the pouch becomes a pocket, very clever and useful when I walk with the buggy in windy Brighton, so no excuse now not to walk when it's raining! I really would like to buy a elf costume for Axel to wear on Christmas eve (Sweden's big day) but it was of course sold out and it was even sold out online which of course makes me want if even more!!! Oh well, saw a reindeer outfit on ebay that I might bid on (oh no... I must stop this ebay addiction!!!) but I do think the elf costume is the coolest one.


After shopping and lunch with Jo I went to see Rachael, was lovely to see both her and Jenny over a cuppa and to catch up. Axel was a bit tired by then so he slept nicely on our walk back. He really loves his pram which is nice, he sleeps most of the time when we are out or looks up in the sky with something dreamy in his eyes. I wonder when I should change to the sitting-up-part of the pram? I would like to do it before X-mas as I have a foot muff which would be lovely and cosy in Sweden, but maybe he is too small (3 months) even tho he weights 6.2kg already : )

J is on his way home, pasta carbonara is on the menu tonight so I should start cooking, bless him have to work when I do so much fun stuff every day, not fair!!

Good morning

And then it was Tuesday, slightly rainy and grey, was suppose to go out walking today but not terribly inviting I must say, hope it will stop raining soon as we both could really need some fresh air and a good sleep in the pram, Axel and not me unfortunately, that would have been lovely tho : ) Although, as he didn't sleep too well last night he is sound asleep in his cot at the mo and have been for the last 45 min, heaven : ) Managed to throw a wash in, shower, get dressed and read my emails.. and now of course blogging. I think my friend Rachael is coming down from London today, very exciting and even more exciting as she is studying to become a midwife, heaven for new mothers like me!

Some evening photos of a very tired mum and Axel...

Darn is hard to take pics without a flash! Axel is finally in bed, but not asleep bless him, hope he sleeps better tonight. I'm gonna leave the evening service to J and go and have a bath, been craving it all day : )

Christmas Present ideas...

So I have realised that there are blogs out there who gives Christmas present advice and tips already, I think that's a fantastic idea as I got this link from D the other day, absolutely brilliant and freaky, bring it on.....

http://www.play.com/Gadgets/Gadgets/4-/5622736/Kota-My-Triceratops/Product.html?source=1100310101&cm_mmc=Silverpop-_-R2_wk46

Play the video clip for full effect of freakiness : )

illness update...

We are back from the doctors, realised when we got there that Axel isn't really ill ill, there were several other babies that were really ill but the doctor said it was good that I brought him and that he is a little bit ill but it should past in the next 3-5 days. I never thought I would be a chicken mum, but I was almost crying last night worrying about his heavy breathing and coughing and his snuffy nose.... I never go to the doctors myself if I don't really really need to, but lately with all the ante-natal appointments, post-natal appointments and jab appointment it feels like we almost live there! Hope we don't have to go for a while now. I had to cancel my morning plans (walk with Ruth and Oliver), instead we are just going to chill out and wrap up warm and snuggle. Charlie might come in the afternoon for a bit which would be nice, a bit boring to just be by ourselves on a grey Monday like this one.

Axel is ill..

..and I'm an anxious mum that is waiting for the doctors surgery to open so I can call them to book an appointment. He is snuffly and coughing, both of us are really tired this morning, him from being ill and me from being worried and running back and forth to his cot. He is actually still sleeping which is not like his usual self, normally he is like a little alarm clock at 7am on the dot. I made J put a book under each leg at the top of his cot in the middle of the night, not sure if it helps much? Ohhh so scary this ill business..

Hmmm, I was hoping that this would be a fun and witty blog and all I seem to write about is our health status! Sorry about that, gonna try and improve : ) I published a post yesterday that I took off this morning saying that we bought a new telly which we did with a nice picture to complement the text asking the postman to bring it soon, J said that I should not publish the fact that we are buying something that costs more than £50 and I was thinking about this last night while lying awake, and he is right, but I'm so happy about it so I will just write it here and do a "small letter" wooohhhoooooo !

Sunday night feeling

Why is it when you breastfeed that you are constantly hungry??? J made cottage pie, and still, I'm hungry again.. thank God I bought some nice blue cheese yesterday : )

We have decided to have a name party for Axel on the 21st of Dec with my family in Sweden, my lovely mother have kindly agreed to arrange it all and fix the food etc. It will only be the family but I really look forward to it, gonna be so nice to celebrate Axel, the best thing that ever happened to us ever!! If I knew it would be so good I would have done this long time ago, have Axel that is! Can't wait til we can give him a little sister or brother, this business is addictive...

Good Morning

Axel slept to 7.45 bless him, as he normally wakes up at 7 I got a bit of a sleep-in today as well : ) J is still asleep, gonna wake him around 10 and see how he feel today. I feel a bit better, my head is a bit clearer and I only have to blow my nose every 10 min instead of every 5, so that's an improvement : ) Unfortunately, now Axel got a stuffy nose, I really hope that it wont get worse..

Soooo exciting....

..that some of you have found your way here : )

Watching the X-factor and eating crisps, Axel is awake again farting away, can it be the potato and leak soup I ate for lunch? J is giving him a tummy massage, simply the best dad!

Just saw a Christmas ad for a new flatscreen TV + a free home cinema system for £399, really would like to upgrade our telly as the one we have is a 21" Toshiba tv with really bad sound that we bough 5 years ago for £100 at Tesco's. Unfortunately the speaking sound is a bit on the weak side so you have to have it quite loud to be able to hear what people are saying, which in turn makes the background sound superloud and then there is of course a nice ring (buzz.. whatever you call that irritating sound that rings in your ears like you have tinitus) to it which drives me mental sometimes... So please Santa, can I have one of these ------- >

ASDA and Ebay buys

Just got back from ASDA, why do half of Brighton decide to go food shopping on a Saturday? and why on earth do we??? It was packed and as I still have a waterhead and feel general shite, I got stressed and fed-up 5 min after we entered the store, so not the best start. Bought some lovely tops to Axel (supercheap but still really nice and soft) I bought these two in a bigger size so he can have them come spring. I also bought 3 PJs and some long sleeve bodies for him. It's interested the way you change your shopping behaviour when you have a baby. It's much more fun shopping for him than me. Actually, I don't really like it anymore which is a shame cos I really need a new pair of jeans myself. Oh well, maybe next week!

I also received the tops I bought for Axel on Ebay (so dangerous that place)in the post this morning. They long sleeved tops are for now and the T-shirt is for next summer. We don't really know anyone here in England that have older children, so we have to buy most of his clothes (no hand-me-downs). I try to buy secondhand if I can, last weekend we went to the NCT (National Child Trust) "nearly new" sale. It was bonkers, people was so rude and crazy, not my cup of tea, but we did get some t-shirts, toys and some books for him. Ha ha now when I look at the tops I bought for Axel I realise that they could have been for me, actually, I think I have the same plain red one as the one on the right, and I'm famous for my stripy tops...classic!!!

We were suppose to go to our friends B & T tonight to watch X-factor and eat some lovely food but I think we'll have to cancel, just want (and need) to veg at home tonight. I think J's mum and partner and maybe even his little brother are coming tomorrow, hope I feel better then!

Ohhh, and a jab update - Axel slept nicely from 20.00, I dream fed him at 22.30 and then he slept to 5.30 when he ate a bit and then he slept to 7.00 when J took him after I fed him and I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 10.30.. soooo nice! and really needed...

Jab day...

Axel had his first two jabs today, I was prepared for extreme crying, but he hardly made a sound, instead he was admiring the lighting in the ceiling, such a darling! But he is not so happy now, J is walking with him up and down the living room every time he tries to sit down Axel gets really upset?? think he is a bit fevery, just fed him so hopefully he should fall asleep soon, he looks really tired.

I had the TENS machine we bought and used at my labour out on Ebay and I saw that someone just bought it, fantastic!! Think we are putting the money towards the wedding, "många bäckar små" like we say in Sweden.. oh and about me writing in English and not Swedish, even tho Swedish would be the most natural language for me (obviously) I want all my friends to be able to read the blog, not just my Swedish ones. But I might write in Swedish sometimes : )

Gonna see if J want some help with Ax and then, TV and "mys"

he is finally asleep..

...but I do not seem to be able to get my bum off this sofa and into the bathroom for some de-grease. I long till Christmas when I go to Sweden, Carola carols, gingerbread men and Glögg (a bit like mulled wine). I bought some Blossa Glögg and Anna's gingerbread cookies already, but I have almost eaten it all already, but I have not cracked open the Glögg, gonna try and save it until December. I bought it at this cafe here in Brighton that got Swedish stuff as well, think it might be called 'Crumble and Scoop' - very expensive!! they know Swedish people abroad are desperate.... And I have promised my self not to go to IKEA before X-mas cos I buy way too much when I go, candles and now with all the Christmas decorations... minefield : ) But my addiction to Kaviar is coming through, used the last little bit of it a week ago and can already feel the abstinence kicking in, lol... Maybe we go next Sunday, "need" to buy a highchair for Axmax anyway.

Anyway.. now I must go before he wakes up again...

Flu Friday...

ohhhh, Axel got the cold as well, well, he is in high spirit but got a semi blocked nose, which in turn makes him a heavy breather, which in turns makes his mummy really worried, who in turn did not sleep last night.. do you see the pattern : ) So it's a very tired mummy who is blogging today, my cold is still alive and kicking and I now have a very sexy whiskey voice on top of the water head feeling. So... one might think that the best thing would be to just chill out today, but no no, today is the "first immunisation day", with 2 jabs for Axel this arvo poor thing. Hope he won't be too upset about the whole thing and I hope that he won't get a fever afterwards tonight. Actually, I'm not sure if I want him to have the jab today at all if he is feeling poorly, surely that can't be good? Must ask the nurse when I get there. So so glad it's Friday today and even more glad it's Saturday tomorrow and J is home so I can just sleep and be ill in peace : ) Wish I could take one of them lovely pictures of me and Axmax at home today, but I look like shit, my nose is red after all nose blowing and what was my lovely hair yesterday is today just greasy, why do the hairdressers put shine stuff (read grease) in your hair just as you are about to leave? Must try and wash it before we go out in the world, don't want to scare anyone...

Lovely Thursday

Had a brilliant day today. Even tho I feel really fluie it all ended up perfect! I just chilled out in the morning, Birte and Bo came and had some lunch, I long til Axel and Bo can start play together, at the moment they don't seem to realise that the other one even exist. After lunch I went to the hairdressers to have my highlights done, much have been a good 12 weeks since last, and my hair seem to have darken a bit with the pregnancy so it was well overdue... Axel will definitely become a hairdresser, he loved it, sat and looked at all the nice stuff like the ceiling and lights and mirrors, ha ha.. He got a bit tired in the end and was really grumpy when we got home, I fed him and then I went to the second mummy pampering of the day... A full body massage! My lovely friend Nyasha is studying holisting therapy and needed someone to practice on, but it was over my expectations.. she is soooo good and I would have easily paid £50 for it, and not just that, I will go 3 more Thursdays.. heaven! I must buy her something nice as a thank you. It was the first time Axel was home with J by themselves. I pumped some breastmilk the other day and froze so he could eat tonight. Everything went brilliantly and I came home to a sleeping son and a very proud dad!

.

Axel being born part 1..

5 days overdue I went to have a sweep in the morning, by lunchtime I started to feel pains like period pains which went on and by 9 in the evening they started to feel a bit more and came every 5 -7 min. I started to feel really sick and called the hospital who told me to come in. We had decided to give birth in Worthing 40 min drive from our house in Brighton as the hospital there is a bit smaller and not so frightening as the big one in Brighton. When we arrived the midwife examined me, I was only 3 cm but was allowed to stay. Had contractions during the night, but not super strong.. or at least I found out later on when the real contractions set in that the ones in the night was just a build-up. By 6am in the morning, the contractions were still not so strong and I was still only 3 cm so the midwife (who was really crap by the way) told us to go home and gave me some painkiller drugs, which of course I manage to puke up in the hospital car park straight afterwards! When we got home, super tired and a bit deflated we managed to sleep for 3 hours, then the sleeping pill that I've been given at the hospital started to wear off and the contractions became more strong. I took a bath and J poured water over my tummy for about 3 hours bless him! By 3pm we were ready to go back in to the hospital... oh the little one is calling.. to be continued...

Me on my due date!