Grey Thursday

Sorry about the Swedish blog posts, has some sad news in our family, and when things like that happens I realised that the only language I wanted to write in was Swedish, I guess my Swedish roots are stronger than I sometimes think.
It's a new day, the sky is grey and we have just chilled out this morning, spoke to my family and played with Ax who is having a nap at the mo. I need to change my mood cos I have to go out and buy a white cardigan, some tights and maybe a new small bag, and a pair of shoes for the wedding we are attending on Saturday here in Brighton. So nice to dress up, and I can use all of it on my wedding and party afterwards which is a bonus!
Really looking forward to it, my lovely friend K is coming in the evening to babysit, it's a bank holiday weekend here so we might go an visit J's mum one of the days as well, so all in all a great weekend to look forward to! I'm gonna try and go to the hairdressers as well today, haven't cut my hair since.. oh my, hold tight, before Christmas I think!! It's about time!!!

Axel hasn't slept so good the last couple of night, but last night we gave him some Calpol in his sleep before we went to bed and he slept much better bless him, he is getting his second tooth which I think hurts a bit extra in the night, but I can feel it now so hopefully the worse has passed and we can all get a better night sleep! I took some photos yesterday trying to get him to show the camera his first tooth, not the easiest!


Axel keeps prodding things to feel them, so sweet and sometimes he even has his finger ready while he sleeps ha ha : )

Ett till svenskt inlagg

Nu har jag läst mitt senaste inlägg, och det känns inte bra, lite som det är en polare typ, och det är det tyvärr inte utan denna tragiska och helt onödiga sorg finns mitt i min familj. Fan också. Nu vill jag bara åka hem och vara nära nära de mina. Jag känner att jag inte kan skriva mer om det här av respekt till min familj, men känner ett stort behov av att prata, tänka på det, sitta tyst och fundera. Ändå så står det bara Käraste på kortet jag har börjat skriva, vad skriver man till någon i sorg?

Min blogg skulle va pa Engelska så att alla kunde förstå, ta del och läsa, men idag finns bara ett språk att skriva på, känns säkrare och tryggare på något sätt. Konstigt de där.

Svenskt inlagg.

Morgonen började med ett riktigt tråkigt och ledsamt samtal från M, de har sorg i sin familj, och jag är sa ledsen for deras skull och känner mig helt tom. Tycker livet är allt bra svårt ibland, orättvist och obegripligt. Att någon går bort för tidigt och helt onödigt, varför. Blandade känslor, ledsamhet, ilska och frågetecken.

Känns svårt och tungt att inte vara nära, stötta och trösta. Havet i mellan Sverige och England känns överväldigande en dag som den här. Tänk att livet är så skört, och vad döden ställer till det. En händelse som en familj får leva med för alltid, ett slag i ansiktet för de som så innerligt vill leva. Varför.

Lunch and song, all day long...

It's Tuesday today, we have decided to stay in the flat for at least over the summer to really enjoy our little patio and not to feel too poor as we have a wedding (small but still) to fund, most things are bought already but there will always be things we need right before, flowers, hair, makeup etc. And my maternity pay will end in May and then I will try and get job seekers allowance over the summer while I apply for jobs in the sunshine. Believe it or not, as you only get about £118 a week (which you have to pay tax for) while being on maternity leave it's not much of a difference from being on job seekers (like A kassa in Sweden). I'm in a way lucky that I don't have a contract with a workplace, cos you only get maternity pay for 39 weeks here so the rest of the weeks you will have to fund yourself if you want to stay at home for a year which in my Swedish eyes is pretty reasonable that you want to. But if you don't have a job to get back to you (I really hope I got this right) can start with A kassa straight away after your mat leave runs out.
We found a nursery for Axel but he can't start until he is one in September so I can't really start anything before then, but I can always apply. I haven't heard anything from the job I applied to earlier, they said to leave it 3 weeks, but I have a feeling there must have been hundreds who applied for it and probably many more who got years of years of experiences. It's ok tho, don't really want to work full time when Axel is so little, maybe next spring but not before. The recession is really bad here, I heard on the news that there was over 200 applicants when the council advertised for rubbish bin collectors... the council was shocked as they normally only get a hand full of applicants for jobs like these (before the recession). Oh well, I guess I just have to be a house wife for the time being until something turns up, not too bad really ; )

We are going for lunch at my old work today and then to playgroup singing, nice!

Remind me to go to bed earlier!

We had a lovely weekend with sunshine, relaxation with good food and friends! It started with Swedish school which was nice, but we have decided (again!!) to sell our car as we simply don't use it enough, and it's stupid to have it just standing here waisting money when we could do much more fun with the money so I'm not sure if we will go there anymore. It's really nice but it's quite far out and not that many others who have babies, I met two girls there which I'm gonna text and see if they would like to meet up in town instead. But it's really good when your children are a bit bigger so they can learn, upkeep and meet other Swedish speaking children, and I guess by then we will have a car again. The afternoon was spent just chilling out in the park the 3 of us. We drove to the countryside yesterday for a nice pub lunch with some good friends, had a real catch-up and a stroll after all the food. I love English countryside, and definitely when it's a sunny warm spring day with all it's blossom and green. But my nose do not seem to like as much, even tho I take hay fever tablets every morning I still need to sneeze all the time, but it's worth it ; ) It's rain and wind today so we are just gonna stay inside and relax, nice!



I was super good yesterday evening and put loads of my paperback books on Ebay, no use saving them after you read them, just collecting dust : ) I also put quite a lot of Swedish books on, gonna be interesting to see if anyone will bid on them! BUT I stayed up way too late which was not a good thing as Axel slept really bad and woke up just before 5!! Good that I got such a nice fiance who took him and let me sleep, but tonight I'm going to bed much earlier so I can take him tomorrow morning. Why do babies go up at 5????? I will remind him about that when he is 15 and it's almost impossible to get him out of bed before 2 in the afternoon!

Can I have a pair of ear plugs please...

Axel's been doing these scream noises all day, it's like he's testing his voice over and over, not so nice and hope it will pass soon!!! Otherwise we have had a nice day out and about, met B for lunch in the park and then me and Axmax stayed there for a couple of hours, a bit windy but ok.



We rented Australia so gonna watch it tonight, eat tacos and drink some wine with cheese and crackers. We had some good news with J's job today so we will stay in Brighton for at least another year or two, feels good to have decided that and we are going to look at 2 bigger flats tomorrow (more to see what we can afford than actually rent them) after the Swedish school. We have also decided that we will sell the car, so unnecessarily to have a car when we hardly use it, many decision on a Friday afternoon but it's all good : )

I have been a bit slack with the Friday themes lately, but I will jump onboard again in May I hope!

Cosy Thursday

Had a nice day today, went to see J (he wanted to show Axel off at work : ) and had lunch with him and his work colleagues then went into town and did some errands and bought some summer vests, so nice being out and about now when the weather is nice. J is at work tonight on a games night with beer, pizza, X-box and Wii games. I have watched my favourite program with Kirstie Allsopp and chilled out in front of the telly. Axel is so good going to bed at 7 without any fuss, beautiful boy : ) I had a little look at wedding bouquets online, there really are so many nice ones out there, must go and ask a couple of different florists to see what they got and what they can do in July, I want the bouquet to look really natural and summery, we really should decide on a colour scheme, I like summery pink but I'm not sure what J thinks. I found a pair of shoes at Debenhams, gonna go and see if they got them in the store. Getting excited now, less than 3 months to go and I'm enjoying the none stress that comes with a small 'no must' wedding and party!

Wedding inspirations!

I want flowers in my hair (but my messy bun a bit on the side) need to get some pictures so I can show the hairdresser (when I find one!)

Sunny Wednesday

Went up with Axel this morning at 6am on the dot, must admit that J normally goes up that early with me rising from the bed at 8-9ish : ) But it's quite nice to go up a bit earlier so I might start doing that, I think I get in a better mood... cease the day sort if feel to it : ) Gonna go to Lewes today to see my lovely friend J and Iz, we are going to the park with some other mums which will be nice!

Thought I do a little "who am I" list this morning as I have already showered and had breakfast and now just killing time until we are off. I have translated it from Swedish so excuse my weird translation in places ; )

1. How old will you be in 5 years? I'll be 34

2. Who have you spent at least 2 hours with today? hmm, it's still pretty early so I guess only J and Axmax so far.

3. How tall are you? I'm 165cm in my passport, had a tall day that day I think even though the scary police admin lady really pushed down the wooden measuring stick on my head.

4. What's the last movie you seen? Not sure actually, went in to Blockbusters yesterday to see if anything nice has been released lately.. nothing!!! (so any tips are happily received, could do with a nice movie night in)

5. Who did you last call? My sister A which was a while back.

6. And who called you? My mum I think

7. What do you like the best, call people or text? I'm a real text person when it comes to arranging to meet friends, but I talk to my family in Sweden by phone.

8. Are your parents married? Nope, but my dad is married to another lovely lady.

9. When did you last saw your mum? Over Easter so not that long ago.

10. What's your eye colour? Scandinavian Blue ha ha

11. When did you wake up this morning? At 6am bright and early by a very happy little boy : )

12. What's your favourite Christmas carol? Fairytale of New York (like everyone else, and I like to sing along with it like I was drunk, why is that!?!)

13. Where's your favourite place? I will be a bit vague and say by the sea (in general really)

14. Where's is you least favourite place? I don't usually go to places I don't like so I'm not sure.

15. Where do you think you will be in 10 years? Either England or Sweden or maybe even US, who knows, only time will tell but I like adventures : )

16. What scared you in the night as a child? I was (and still am) a bit scared of the dark and have to half run skip to the bathroom in the night if I have to go which I try to avoid by not drinking so much in the evening.

17. What made you laugh recently? Axel makes my laugh all the time.

18. How wide is your bed? 160cm

19 Do you have a PC or a laptop? Both, but the PC is so old so we only use it to play music on it.

20. Do you sleep with any clothes on at night? Always a t-shirt, if not I always seem to dream that I'm naked??

21. How many pillows do you use? What's with all the bed questions???? Two if anyone is interested. But I used about 4 when I was pregnant.

22. Which countries have you visited? Sweden, Norway, Denmark, England, Scotland, Ireland, Greece, France, Germany, Holland, South Africa and Mozambique

23. Where have you lived? I grew up in Skane, then London, Oslo, Dublin, London again and finally Brighton.

24. Are you a social person? Definitely, crave company at all times.

25. What's you favourite ice cream? GBs "Sandwich", daim ice cream is pretty nice as well.

26. What's your favourite desert? I'm not too fussed, anything sweet really, but I don't like tiramisu.

27. Do you like Chinese food? It's ok, but I like Thai better

28. Do you like coffee? No, only the smell.

29. What do you drink for breakfast? Tea and c-vitamin tablet drink

30. Do you sleep on a particular side? Shouldn't this question be with the other 100 sleep questions?? the answer is left.

31. Can you play poker? Not really, only know the basic rules.

32. Do you like to snuggle? of course

33. Are you an addictive person? oh yes... I get addictive to most things so I try to avoid any routines.

34. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? My old boss, but he was a bit older ; )

35. Would you like (more) children? Yes, would like 3 I think.

36. Do you know any other languages? Apart from Swedish and English I might be able to understand a bit of German if the person speaks really slow and do not use any hard words, so nothing to brag about ha ha.

By this time I gave up, the questions never ends!!! 12 hours later and on the sofa again...

37. Have you ever been driven in an ambulance? No

38. What do you prefer, the sea or a swimming pool? Nothing's better than the sea!

39. What do you prefer to spend money on? Well, we don't have any money so that's easy haha, well if I had money I would travel a bit more.

40. Do you own any expensive jewellery? My engagement ring was a bit over budget, but I love it so that's ok ; )

41. What's your favourite program? Kirstie's new program - love it, love her, love Thursdays...

42. Can you roll your tongue? Yes

43. Who is the most fun person you know? Axel at the mo, but he doesn't know it.

44. Do you sleep with any teddies? Ehhh no.

45. What's your ring tone? Chasing cars with Snow Patrol which I've meant to change for quite a while.

46. Do you have any clothes from when you where a little girl? Some I guess..


Nooooooo, I GIVE UP this list NEVER ends!!!!!

Here is a photo of Axmax today in the park -


He looks a bit red, but fear not, he got sun cream on and was in the shade or had his big hat on the whole time, no tanned baby here (just a mum who is a tiny bit burn, should have taken on factor 40 an hour earlier!)

Party Weekend

What a great weekend! Started Friday night with J's friend S came to visit, it was the first time he met Axel so Axmax got some lovely gifts and an additional person grinning at him the whole time, he loves when people smile at the moment : )

We bought some Thai take away and some alcohol and then we chatted, gossiped and played board games, perfect ending on a rainy day. J and S stayed up late talking but I was so tired by midnight, not used being up that late anymore... Probably good cos Axel woke up at 5.30 and wanted to talk and play : ) After a nice English breakfast and a shower we headed into town for some shopping and a stroll, bought the Cath Kidston shoes (even nicer in reality) and returned some stuff I bought when mum was here. I'm really into dots at the moment, don't understand where my addiction originate, but I hope it will past soon cos otherwise our home will be full of dotted things ha ha. oh, I bought some side plates (blue with white dots of course) on sale, very nice indeedy.. To finish off a great day I went to my friend Clair's 30 birthday party, was super fun, catch up with some old friends from Uni, danced and had a good time, lasted to just after 11 when I ordered a taxi and went home to my boys.

Me yesterday on my way out

We just chilled out today, planning the future, went for a drive to check out some different areas to see if we like them (to live) and then we bathed Axel and now we sit here with a laptop each (super romantic... not). But we are so close at the moment which is lovely, we are celebrating 6 years in May and it's just getting better and better : )

Axel in the bath today, super red hair at the moment so will be interesting to see what colour it turns out to be, I'm hoping for red but I have a feeling it might turn blond in the summer, but we'll see!

rain rain rain...

What a rainy day... I went out in the rain to look at two houses just to see what we can get for our money, the first house was not so nice, no personality at all, big but no thanks.. BUT, the second house was just lovely, not big or fancy, just nice.. It's on the top of biggest hill in Brighton, the second room is a single (good for Axel but that's about it), it's a bit too expensive, the parking is awful in that area, but it was something with it that I really liked... On the plus side - it has a nice cosy living area come dining area with room for a big table and at least 6 chairs, nice wood flooring in the living room, good kitchen, nice little secluded Patio, good big bathroom with double glazing, and the main bedroom was a good size too, there is a attic space for storage and I happen to meed the owner and she was lovely, they have a baby as well which made it easier for me as the second room was already a nursery, not that I can't see through things like that, once an estate agent always an estate agent!! It's a real shame that we can't buy as you need a good deposit (rightly so) which we don't have. We could have bought a similar place for the same monthly outgoings in the same area, please shout if anyone would like to invest in us with a prospect of a nice turnout in 5 years when we sell it : )
I might get J to have a look at it next week and if it's still on the market maybe we could put in a silly rental offer and see what they say, there are soooo many flats available at the mo so I think they would be open for a deal.. Either way, it felt really good to have a look at what's out there.

Another exciting thing is that I applied for my first job last weekend wooooo, I hope I get an interview, might find out next week, but it's ok if not, just good to start applying for jobs in general!

Shopping problems...

Well.. not really a problem more that I must not buy anything at the moment, but there is so much nice stuff out there, really summery bright with a lot of dots : ) and I really want to cheer our place up a bit, and myself for that matter, as I was preggies last summer and I'm not sure where my summers clothes are, I seem to only have dark wintry clothes in drawers. Oh well, I must look for them this weekend and see what I got before I go out spending money we don't have.

I need to buy a new pair of shoes as my old ones broke, I wanted to buy a yellow pair of converse, but not sure if they even exist in the UK, so might just buy a pair of these (a bit cheaper as well so that's good) -




It's raining today, grey and damp. This flat feel sooo small when the weather is like this, Axel is sleeping at the mo, think his second tooth is on its way so he is a bit tired and is drooling everywhere ha ha, but he is such a lovely little boy, it's just getting better and better for each week!

I would love these pillows for our sofa, would look lovely now in the spring and summer!



I feel a bit better already just window shopping a bit at home, gonna go and have a look at two houses for us, a bit too early for us to move but I want to have a look at what we can afford in the area : )

Oh, and it's going to be sunshine this weekend, I'm going to a party on Saturday night which will be a lot of fun, so all good !

Easter and Today

Had a good time with my mum here over Easter, went to Windsor one day and on the Monday the day was shining so we walked to the Marina and back which was quite a trek. So hard to have visitors in our flat, can't wait until we get somewhere bigger, it's really getting to us now.. And the neighbour upstairs have moved their living room around so they have their TV just above our bedroom so I have had to sleep with earplugs which isn't ideal, if anything, I really want to be able to hear if Axel wakes up. I must go up and ask them to turn it down a bit , but I hate doing things like that.. Just want to move instead : ) I applied for my first job yesterday, would be surprised if I get an interview, but you never know, maybe maybe. It's was a good exercise to write the application at least, forgot how hard they are to do but will apply for all interesting jobs from now on!

J's mum and grandma came over today, they brought lunch with them and then we headed out and had a look in the laines and had coffee and dessert at Jamie Oliver's new restaurant here in Brighton, was lovely and the food looked sooooo yummy, think J's mum will babysit on the 10 of May so me and J can go there and eat a 3 course dinner and celebrate our 6 year anniversary!

Cleaning with a grumpy boy = almost impossible

As my mum is coming tonight I thought I try and clean a bit today, tidy everywhere, clean the bathroom and hoover for her arrival. Axel on the other hand seemed to have a totally different agenda (or he just don't like to be around people that clean hence trying with everything he's got to distract the person - me). After having a couple of weeks where he has just been so happy and charming he decided to change today just in time for my mum arrrgggg, crying, don't want to sleep, don't want to sit and play on the mat, don't want to eat, don't want to be carried and on it goes. So why am I sitting here blogging when I should take this opportunity when he's finally asleep to clean? I feel exhausted to be frank, and all my cleaning powers have vanished. But, I did manage to tidy quite a bit and the bathroom looks spik and span and I will try and get J to hoover when he gets home.

I bought a second hand Maclaren buggy to have in the car and when I travel, it's quite nice, not new but it does the trick and it's a limited edition from a NY designer Kate Spade, who knows, it might go up in price one day, until then I will just use it ; ). Me and Axel took it for a spin around the block this arvo, he wasn't too impressed, and I think we'll have to try it a bit more before he'll give it the thumbs up.

I might not update the blog over Easter so have a fantastic Easter and make sure you eat as much eggs and chocolate as you wish, after all, it's only Easter once a year ha ah ; *

Supermarket shop...

Before we had Axel we rarely went to do a BIG supermarket shop, maybe every 3 months or so, it always cost us a fortune but we were happy leaving the store knowing that we had food for a foreseeable future. Now I go to the supermarket (ASDA today but it can vary- I'm a Sainsbury's girl myself, but a bit too expensive for my bank account at the mo, at least so I thought) maybe once or twice a month, I always seem to spend around £100, it really doesn't matter what I buy which really irritates me!! But then again, I always end up buying things that I would actually normally buy, like today for example a scale and a bowl came with me home. With this in mind I have started to wonder if it is cheaper to do a big shop with the car?? I never buy things like that when I go to Sainsbury's with the buggy (i.e I have to carry it all home by hand), maybe Mr Oliver's shop is the best in the end?? I'm very excited that my mum is coming tomorrow, hope that the weather will continue to be really nice so we can be outside most of the time, out flat is pretty small with three adults and one baby in it, and when I told mum that Axel wakes up at 5.30 each morning I could hear the fear in her voice ha ha.. as we don't have a second bedroom I'm not sure how we will solve it all yet : )

Axel on our patio (6 April 09)

The end of the tunnel and more cup cakes!

After a tough weekend with tooth ache like someone just hit you in the face, to the point when you almost feel a bit nauseous cause you are off balance as your ear is hurting of the pain(actually, I have never been hit in the face IRL, but I imagine that's how it feels like). I took full strength ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine and still pain.. arrrggg!! For you guys who follows my blog will know that I have been on weekly visits to my dentist trying to fix a flipping hole (that I didn't even knew existed until he told me), but it's never been good and I have started to forget how it feels like to eat on both sides like a normal person, I've had enough and it's coming out next week!! I got some penicillin and some better anti-inflammatory tablets and I'm feeling a little bit better, well, it's bearable. Hope it's better tomorrow.

I made a new batch of cup cake icing with some frozen sponges from last week. I think I've nailed it!! - I'll make the actual cup cakes the day before (as they were a bit dry today after being in the freezer for a week) and then ice them on the day. And I've found the most amazing "icing" receipt, I can't take any credit for it, I found it at the my friend R's house last Friday while having lunch, she got loads of nice cook books including Nigella Lawson's Love Buns. No butter, more like soft meringue topping that melts in you mouth. We had one each today to test and now I'm just craving the other 4 in the fridge ha ha... Evil business this cake making malaky, must go for a fast walk tomorrow ; )

Nigella says that you should just take a dollop and swirl it over... must practice on the swirling bit!

Friday Show and Tell - Yellow

Västmanländskan is the host for April's Show and Tell. Today's theme is Yellow!

Axel only allows me to write max one posting a day and as I've already written one below and he has slept now for over an hour and will wake up any minute now I have decided to SHOW more than tell today. I've started to like yellow more and more, unfortunately I can't wear yellow as I look really weird in it : ) but here are some picture's I found online (click on them if you want to know where I found them).



Ohh, and isn't this bunch of flowers just lovely - might have something similar for my wedding.

Other Friday bloggers- Nilla, Simone, Desiree, Annika, Anne, Petra , Millan, Anki, Marianne , Victoria, Cecilia, Leopardia, Strandmamman, Jemaya, MiaD, Lena, Erica, Marie, Saltis, Lia, Marina, Jennie, Anna, Moster Mjölgumpa, Sparkling, Taina, Christel, Musikanta, Sara, Under ytan, Marskatten, Emma, Västmanländskan, Lena W, Victoria V, Norrsken och stjärnfall

Wedding planning and cup cakes

Me and J are getting married in July after 6 years and 1 child together : ) I can't wait being married to J, I already feel we belong together, he is my best friend and I look forward to our future, more babies and travels. I can't (and don't want to) picture my life without him by my side. As we live in England (including most of J's family) and my family living in Sweden we always knew that our wedding would be slightly complicated. We started looking for places in Sweden quite a while back, lovely castles and restaurants but realised quite quickly that it would be too expensive for our economy. We spoke back and forth about different alternatives, but the only thing we could agree on was that the most important thing was that we got married. So with that in mind we decided to get married in the registry office here in Brighton where we live. A small ceremony with some drinks down the pub with a couple of friends and then a "honeymoon/ summer holiday" in Sweden in a rented cottage. All sounded good and low key, BUT.. I realised pretty soon that I didn't really looked forward to it as I felt that I wanted it different (as I hope I'll only get married once). I'm a very social person so the low key theme just wasn't for me. So the drinks with friends down the pub have now become a party for friends in a lovely function room above a pub, pints are now bubbly, snacks and cupcakes, decorations, balloons and music. I have changed my mind a couple of times with the dress (J's mum is sewing a white one for me as well at the mo as I'm not sure about the flowery dress for the England party).
The relaxing honeymoon in Sweden has changed as well. My mum started to say that maybe she could do a surprise party for us which sounded nice, until she started to ask me things after just one day. So to avoid the whole "surprise which isn't a surprise at all as I have arrange the whole thing really" we decided to have a lunch in a restaurant in Ven with my family and J's family who's coming over from England. We are then going to BBQ back at ours with drinks and mingle. So a bit of a change, but now I look forward to it soooo much I'm almost exploding. And I feel that we really got the best of both, we are going to celebrate for weeks which feels amazing and much better than spending a ridicules amount of money on one day!

After the painful production of about 70 invitation cards for both events I promised myself not to do anything handmade again, unfortunately that only lasted about a week and until we reached the cup cake booking. They charge an absolute fortune for cupcakes here in Brighton so J's mum said that maybe she (and M) could make them which is lovely, except I can't just leave it to them, no.. instead I have made some myself to get the perfect sponge and the perfect icing (not there yet, but think I know the perfect receipt now so must try it next week). I made some Swiss meringue buttercream icing yesterday(a bit too buttery for my taste) but I used a cheep and nasty nozzle from Tesco's so the decoration bit looks a bit weird so I'm now on the hunt for some nicer nozzles, oh and some scales oh and a bowl for water baths!!! Actually, maybe £1.50 per cake is starting to look pretty reasonable ha ha, we only need about 80 of them top ; )

Cup cakes made yesterday evening!