A tired mum

Last night I went out to the pub for the first time since I had Axel, met two friends in the centre of town and when I walked there (without my every prop - the pram) I realised that people can not see on me that I just had a baby and not in a weight kind of way, but just in general, I don't have a sign on me saying "mother" and I'm wearing the same clothes I had before I was pregnant. It felt so odd, my life has changed so dramatically but to others I'm just like before. And if I would have met someone that I hadn't seen for a year or so they wouldn't even know we had a baby, and still he is my everything at the mo, him and J. I didn't really wanted to go but J pushed me gentle out of the house with encouragements and reassurance that they would be just fine (Axel was already asleep when I left so he totally missed the whole event). I had a really nice time with the girlies really trying not to talk about Axel as that is pretty boring for others to listen to. I think it went quite ok, but I was thinking about him all the time and left just after 10 to go home, I was sooo tired by then and a bit drunk.. I must be the cheapest date ever - only had 1 1/2 pint of beer and felt really giggly. I have now pumped and dumped twice even tho I'm pretty sure it would be ok to feed him now I don't want him to have to taste Italian beer in his morning feed. I had a slight headache this morning but I got a sleep-in to 9 which was nice and after some water, tea and a headache pill I feel much better. J is doing the big weekly shop at the mo, the weather is lovely and I crave some fresh air so gonna quickly get ready so we can go out. Love the weekends when I can be close to both of my boys!